Before I begin this morning, let me preface this story by saying I could care less what Consumer Reports has to say about anything - vacuums, microwaves, washers, refrigerators, cars, it doesn't matter - the publication never has and never will have even the slightest impact on anything I purchase.

It is utterly useless to me.

That being said, Consumer Reports recently looked at a number of luxury sport utility vehicles, some of which included the Volvo XC90, Audi Q7, Cadillac Escalade, Mercedes R-Class and Mercedes GL-Class, in an effort to determine which model best meets their "rigorous" testing criteria.

Although all the models earned "Very Good" ratings, the R- and GL-Class both scored highest in the category, but ultimately fell short of Consumer Reports "recommended" status because they are either too new or have have below average predicted reliability.

According to David Champion, senior director of Consumer Reports' Auto Test Center: "Both the GL- and R-Class vehicles offer exceptional combinations of luxury, utility and performance-at a premium price."

Wow, very informative.

Now would somebody please hand me my wallet so I can sign up for an overpriced subscription to a publication that states exactly the same thing every other reviewer has already determined and freely made available to the public?

To learn more about how the Mercedes R-Class and GL-Class stacked up, head over to Consumer Reports, where after paying for a subscription, you'll then be able to find the review in its entirety.